It's been a while since my last update. So far, everything goes well, and indeed, a few surprises throughout the 1/3 of 2011. Setting goals is essential to have a good start for the year, and moving forward upon achievements and seeing the results, it's the moment that makes me feels like I'm indeed have been through a better life!!
Proclaiming and will surely continue to proclaim that this year will be a fruitful year and seeing the dreams will come true and surely it will be a history!! HAHA!! just can't wait for the projects to come to pass...
Well, the most important is, know how to relax myself!!! Can't wait for my vacation as well!! HAHAHHAA!!! YEAH!! It will be a GREAT 2011!!
This time, it’s a really special trip back to my homeland, Sabah. Not just that had a ‘special heart surgery’ before heading back to Sabah, but my eyes’ been open wide!
Parents’ always the best! They have actually always been there wherever I was around, and during childhood time, I don’t actually realize that, thinking that they just gave me total freedom to do whatever I like then, but found out that it was my dad who actually discover me having the music talent and music sense in me! Not that I realized till today and will not realized if I don’t have the chance to have a really good chat and memories recall during this round of trip!
But for what my memories inside was that, between mom and dad, we don’t actually communicate a lot inside the house, our house is full of silence. Cause I would lock myself in my room and do my own stuff, and my parents won’t take any concern of what I am up to.
Instead, now all these silence will fades away as I do have a lot of fun and cool childhood memories inside me. Remembering how I really imagine myself playing piano in front of my study desk when I was about 7! It’s been quite some time I did that, then, my parents took the initiative to let me learn music when I was 9. And actually they are really proud of me when seeing me performing or in a competition on stage, the smile on their faces showed the satisfaction they have inside their heart!
But during my secondary time, I don’t actually felt it, I even felt that they kind of ignorant to me. And it’s all about my way, my will. But really, they let me do it my will, my way. But not until this time round, had a great time with my family, I am proud of my family! Really proud of my family!! Because they truly know what’s inside their son and secretly guide him and pull him up in all ways to ensure that their son shines!!
Writing this down is to honor my parents!! Love you mom and dad!! And really thankful for everything!!
New year, new home, new room, new environment, new stuffs, ... everything gotta be NEW.
despite all of the SAD thing happened recently, what a 'good' memory recall...guess that this year is a real breakthrough for me, really need to face it instead of hiding all things behind.
Nowadays really trying hard to really have a real rest day, instead of just working all day long 7/24. Monday, my official rest day, and now one month has past, I've not stepped into workplace at all, at least that's a good sign for me to have a real rest no matter at home or at shopping malls. And I think that's why my body react differently nowadays, still in the midst of sickness, yet to cure, as my toxic level is too high that yet need time to process the detoxification process. Indeed, I've lost some weight from that, well, at least I'm happy! hahahaha!!
Hopefully next week will fully recover...as CNY is around the corner~!! yeah~!!
Recently recalled back the things that had gone real bad, and even it ruins my future life that I really find it hard to trust anyone and find a true relationship that really can hold on the rest of my life.
Thought back the incident that happened...I would just said, 'how I wish I could turn back time' and choose road B, instead of turning left, I'll choose to turn right...but the reality is that I can't. How I really wished that all of this images and memories inside my mind can be deleted instantly, but it couldn't be deleted just in a glimpse. Even after years...4-5 years, still the memories are just like fresh in the oven. How bad...a new year with recalling this particular BAD memories as a start...
Even though having said sorry to me not only once, but for many many times. And I forgive by saying out, but in my heart, I was wonder, am I really forgiving or just because I said it out, then it's consider forgive. After all these years, I finally found out that I am a person that not really can easily forgive someone as the hurt inside my heart is too deep...and the wound couldn't be easily seen by anyone, not even my parents! and it's still there to be cured, but I have yet to find the right medicine to have it cure, therefore instead of cure, it's getting bad, and no one knows how bad it has gone, I just keep it myself, acting that I am strong enough on the outside, but it really pains in the inside.
Recently, I could get angry easily on things which I shouldn't, but which, I should get angry with this BAD memory that happened...but I really don't know how to react with this! I couldn't get any angry with this, or sort to say, my EQ is actually a zero...by right, I should get really angry and at least pour out all my emotions to this incident...but till now, I couldn't...
......
As a conclusion, I am a person that not easily to forgive and to forget. Whereby this hurt is just deep down six feet under, I am not able to forgive...but I wished one day that I could really forgive this, but for now, I can't as I am not able to...
I still can feel the shame inside...probably that's why I couldn't forgive.
All I could ask for is that, GOD, help me with this, put away my shame and give me strength to forgive...A real forgiveness from the bottom of my heart...and may this be another testimony that shines for You, my Lord.
Heard of this interesting story when I was in Surabaya, Indonesia...
There was a guy, who are really really passion about his life...which I really respect him for that. He possessed nothing, not even a set of television, so don't expect that he owns a house or what so ever. But he is very happy about his life...the only thing he owns is a 'BECA' - tricycle. He uses this to earn his own living during the day, where he'll get some customers a ride from this place to another place. This tricycle is his permanent address, where he sleeps during the night, so I wonder if one day people trying to send him a mail, how would the postman know where's his exact location?
What it has to do with passion?
Time passes by, where everyone will meet the last moment. He took his last breathe on his own BECA. Till his very last breathe, he still stay on his tricycle. He was found dead by someone who walked by his tricycle.
PASSION - willing to keep on the things even if you will have to die for it.
my passion - MUSIC. Even if I have to die for it, I will still pursue music. And I believe most of the musicians who really plays good music, they even sleep with their instruments where they keep practicing till they fallen asleep. Willing to sacrifice their time just to upgrade themselves, and they will surely find a way to improve themselves, even if it's the hard way.
Musicians are everywhere, but to find a passionate musician, not an easy task...are you willing to sacrifice to be one of it?
Even though this music has been out for about few months back...still when listened to it. It really speaks out the true Malaysia.
Love this country very much, where everyone is envy when they had their first time visit here. So actually what its all about? Love, peace, harmony...Malaysia is a truly Asia, where you can see all sorts of different culture here...we do celebrate all sorts of festivals no matter we are black, white or yellow...and that's UNIQUE.
So, we, the youngsters, should keep up the good works that our grandparents has worked out for themselves and for their future...which is 'US'. Treasure everyone as we are really one big family. Where no one can and able to change this facts!!! Where the beautiful history is made by our forefathers.
http://www.satusuara.com/satusuara.mp3
SATU SUARA
mengapa kita berbeza,
ku tahu hatimu dipolusi benci,
kita harus bersama,
aku, kau mereka, memahami, kompromi,
kita satu komuniti, satu arah destinasi,
Hey generasi muda, usah kau bersendiri,
kita punya satu hati, satu cita satu jiwa
kau aku dan mereka, kita satu nama,
Chorus :
Dengan satu suara,
kita serupa, walau berbeza
genggam semangat waja
dan langkah bersama
dalam rentak padu yang sama
rap:
It's the B to the E to the L I A
Let's keep our head up for better days
Do walk hand in hand if you understand
The message is to be together in this motherland
Where is the love that used to shine
In this darkest hour, we're gonna be just fine
So let the love shines in your soul
This revolution is gonna be our destiny call
Dalam satu suara, kita tiada bezanya
Nyanyi lagu yang sama, rentak sekata
Dengan satu suara, kita janji menjaga
Kau, aku dan mereka, kita satu nama
Chorus :
Dengan satu suara,
kita serupa, walau berbeza
genggam semangat waja
dan langkah bersama
dalam rentak jiwa yang sama
Bridge:
Sekiranya ku jatuh, terus bangunkan aku
Dan aku lakukan yang sama untukmu
Kau, aku dan mereka
Dalam satu irama, dalam satu cinta
rap: TAMIL
eethu un valkai, un pathei, un eerthukaalam
(this is your life, your path and your future)
otremei veedum kai kodhe nadeethe vaa
(unity is needed, come walk hand in hand)
naalai maadrum un nadeetheyil
(tomorrow's changes is in your path)
en thola yen paala kuraalyil?
(my friend, why do it with different voices?)
rap : CANTONESE
我地国家应该一条心
our country should be one heart and one soul
生活过得好，最紧要我地大家开心
our lives are good and our happiness is important
我地马来西亚社会真係惦
our Malaysian society is great
无论遇到乜野困难，我地一齐可以搞掂
whatever problems we face, we can sort it out together
didn't really go to the real live show but just went for the full dress rehearsal which is on the day before it's LIVE...
purpose of going there...meet up my cousin over there...HAHHAHAA!!! as she invited me to go for the rehearsal...as well, just to meet up some of my old colleagues...had a great time on the show...indeed, enjoyed the show and the music...just that bit sad that the stage design is hiding all the musician behind...HAH!!! why lar hide them behind...!!! haiya!!!
is a complicated guy...having tonnes of dreams which seems like an impossible dream that will come to past but still believe that one day it will come to past!!
